Support your wife

The following post is going to give men out there some tips on how to be a good (or great) husband and it will cover supporting your wife and family in many ways.

Communication

Don’t ever be afraid to share your thoughts, fears, or concerns with your wife. In general, us men tend to think we are the know-it-alls and can handle everything ourselves without the concern or help of anybody else, including our wives and love ones. Talking to your wife about your thoughts, fears, and concerns is a way to slowly crack the door open to opening up to her. This is what all women long for by the way. Men don’t like to “drop their guard” so to speak but you should not feel like you can’t lower your guard to your own wife. It is tough to do but once you do it one time it gets easier every time after.

There are so many times when it’s just you and your wife alone with no one else around and that would be the best time to talk to her. Let her know that underneath the “man” shell on the outside, there’s a kind and gentle real man on the inside. Women absolutely love it when a man will open up to them and tell them things that they know are hard for us to talk about. Try it and see for yourself, I bet your wife will think more of you right away and you will bring out some new feelings in her that she will love having for you and likewise you will too. You don’t have to tell each other’s friends about it either and if you’re worried about that, just ask her not to tell anyone and then one day you may drop that guard and let her tell her friends if she wants to. It’s almost guaranteed that her friends will think the most of you and be jealous when they hear what she has to tell them, but of course that all depends on what you are opening up to her in the first place with. Obviously there are many touchy subjects that no one would want their loved ones to repeat so take this advice with a grain of salt. The bottom line is to not feel like you can’t open up and tell your wife the thoughts on your mind sometimes.

Listen

Always listen to the things your wife has to say no matter what. It might be so boring that it’s killing you or you are so uninterested that you can’t wait to hang up the phone or for her to stop talking so you can watch television. It is so important that you just listen to what she has to say because she feels it is important enough to tell you or else she would not be talking to you in the first place. When she is having a bad day and you notice her complaining a lot, don’t argue with her or point the finger at her even if she did do something to deserve putting herself in that mood. An example would be if she was nailing a picture to the wall and hit her thumb with the hammer and she got mad about it and started venting about it. Do not say, “well you shouldn’t have hit your thumb with the hammer.” Instead, say something like, “Come here honey and let me make you feel better”. If she says no then do not give up. Go to her and give her a gentle hug. Of course you can kiss her thumb or rub her back, etc. What you don’t want to do is raise your voice at her for any reason even if she is raising hers at the moment. When people who are upset and yelling see that the opposite party is calm and talking gently towards them and being nice, they will cool down and defuse themselves so fast it’s not even funny but it takes YOU to make that first step and be nice to her even though she is mad or upset about something and yelling. Once you are both on the same level you can ask her what happened and let her vent out everything she needs to, even if you’ve heard it all before or your football game is about to come on. This is the time to shine and it will give her some comfort from you that she probably would never expect and it will make her feel so good inside chances are you won’t even miss your football game after all because she is already over whatever happened and feeling good once again.

A nice thing to do sometimes is to give your wife a call during the day just to let her know you are thinking about her and that you miss her. Now let’s use a couple that has been married for 20+ years for example. They both know they love each other so they don’t need to tell each other, right? Wrong, call your wife during the day out of the blue and tell her you were just thinking about her and missing her. Even if you don’t miss her, you should still call her sometimes to tell her that. After all, you are married to her and maybe you don’t feel the need to tell her because you think she knows that already but do it and watch how it brightens her day up. Another thing women absolutely love is when their man brings them home some flowers and a card. Maybe you are strapped for cash, that’s fine but at least get the card and write something nice inside. It can be as simple as saying the same thing that I mentioned above on the phone which can be something like, “When I’m at work I always find myself thinking about you and just wanted to get you a card to let you know that.” Now that was very short and to the point but any woman would love it. Don’t write something that fast and simple, take the time and write a few sentences if you can and it will make it that much more meaningful to her. After all, how you ever seen a woman get mad when her husband brought her a sweet card?

Love and Affection

Sometimes always telling your wife that you love her and care about her it can be very rewarding to actually show her that you love her. Human beings in general don’t like the same exact thing constantly and that includes your wife too. People like changes here and there and what this means to you is that you should give her something physical like a card, some flowers, or a passionate kiss. Give her a kiss when she least expects it, give her some roses for no reason at all, and do not be afraid to hold her hand in public! These are things any man can do. If you can’t do all 3 of these things I know you can do at least one. Doing these things will show your wife your love and affection in a different way than was unexpected by her which is the change her “human being” needed to get recharged. Small surprises like these mean more than words sometimes so don’t keep doing the same old thing and just expect your wife to know that you love her and care about her. Show her you do.

Sending your wife some flowers or any gift during her work day is one of the best things a man can do in any relationship. Trust me when I say this, I know this is one of the best things you can do but it might cost you a little bit of money. The most common gift to send your wife at work is a dozen roses. Make sure you send her the right color too as they have different meanings. The color you want is red because red roses symbolize love. A mixture of red and white roses might be a real good idea if you and your wife are going through some tough times and you guys are going through some type of “new beginning”. When your wife’s coworkers see those nice roses you sent her they will be jealous and your wife will be in the spotlight the rest of the day. It costs around $60-$80 for a flower shop to deliver these roses to your wife so save up that little bit of money and surprise her one day.

In the middle of the night when your wife is sleeping, if you happen to be awake or rolling over to change your position, roll over and give her a kiss. What I like even more is when my wife rolls over and starts rubbing my back which does wake me up but it feels so good that words cannot even describe it. You are guaranteed to fall back asleep in a few minutes and you will have one of the best nights sleep you’ve ever had. My wife only rubs my back for about 1 minute and that’s all it takes for me to know she was thinking about me and then I wake up feeling great.

Family

When you come home from work and your wife is there before you, don’t go and give the baby or your kids a kiss first. Go straight to your wife and show her some affection before anyone else. It was you and her who were together before the kids and once they leave home it will once again be just the two of you. Sure I know we all love our kids to death but your wife gets your attention first, then the kids. Your kids will not have any idea nor will they care that you kissed and hugged mommy first and if they ever do notice that you can feel free to show them some attention before mom every now and then but mom gets your attention the majority of the time.

When you come home you need to be home. What I mean is that you shouldn’t go straight to your computer room, straight to the television, or out in your garage. You need to spend some time with your family. You may have things to do on your computer that are important or you may need to fix something in your garage that is important but you need to always set aside time for the family and it needs to be the majority of your time too. This is a key ingredient to living a healthy and loving life with your family and having a family that is well balanced with it’s needs.

Be more involved with the family. Help the kids with their homework and don’t get upset and in a rush because your football game is about to come on. Kids can see right through this type of thing and the last thing you want is your kids to know that their dad doesn’t really want to help them with their homework. They will start to resent you sooner or later so don’t let that happen. Don’t let your wife take on the child-care and house cleaing duties all by herself. You are the father and husband so you need to help out with discipline as well as raising your kids too. You need to be invloved in everything, don’t let your wife do it all. Split some of the chores up with your wife, don’t make her do everything. Taking out the trash isn’t good enough either. Do the dishes and clean up the kitchen after she cooks a meal. Doing these things shows her that you care and appreciate her. Spend time with your family now because tomorrow just might be too late.

Comments

[Rory]

I like the section about giving your wife a hug and a kiss when you get in from work. Not necessarily going to the kids first. I think the kids feel secure when they see M & D genuinely embracing. I know Annabeth kinda likes it, then joins in, hugging my leg so she's not left out.

I'm not too sure about the bit at the beginning with the example of hanging a picture. I ain't going anywhere near her when she's got a hammer in her hand and she's just hit her thumb. Nosiree.

[Jason]

I think I should add to that top part about the hammer, "Warning: sometimes this doesn't work with all women. Use at your own discretion."

Just kidding.

[Bill]

my wife says i should read this.

[Cliff Alexander @ FreedomWithPurpose]

Could it be that men have trouble accomplishing what our wives truly want because we haven't first dealt with the past childhood conditioning, generational issues or past experiences that are limiting them from being what was always intended, for men to love their wives?

It is the issues in our lives that we must deal with first, and transform ourselves thru idenfification our individual issues are, choosing to change and then changing our belief systems to healthy patterns. At this point we are then in a position to choose to live a life of purpose and be free to understand what a loving and abundant existence is, free from fear and ready to give and help others first before ourselves.

What would it take to do at least one thing EVERY DAY to show your spouse that she is the most important person in your life? What would it take to put her first in your life? What words and actions could you put in place that would open your wife as a blossom opens to sunshine such that she feels like it's shining every day?

There are many times that we focus on the things that are least important in life, many times being ourselves. Instead we need to focus on being the man our wives truly want us to be (loving, encouraging, appreciative, masculine and strong, soft in spirit).

Your wife and family is too valuable and precious for you to wait for freedom any longer. Your wife and family is too important to see them gradually separate emotionally from you, leading to separation and sometimes divorce.
I've been there.

Now my wife knows she is the most important. I do the little things that are most important in life. Open the door for her everyday even if other people make fun of you for doing it (she loves it). Cut out little hearts and post them around the house with little notes on them of how much you appreciate her. Go to the park and find the nicest flower you can find and bring it back to her and tell her it was the most beautiful thing in the forest and reminded you of how beautiful she is. Learn how to cook and put on gourmet dinner meals for your wife, family and friends. It will impress everyone but mostly your wife. It's very attractive to women that see confidence in a man that cooks.

Your wife will appreciate the little things. Trust me. There is so much more and life can be so exciting. Strive for passion. Create the zest in your relationship that you once had and maintain it everyday.

[Angel]

I definitely agree with the last post.

I believe that a man must deal with himself first, get his life in order, before taking on another life. The old saying, love others as you love yourself rings true here. If you don't love yourself, how can you expect to love another fully and completely. I used to think that "she" would complete me. No...not true. Man I was waaayy off base.

Men...complete yourself first! Go out and find out what you like and dislike. Ask yourself what you want out of life. What do you like?... exercising, biking, music, sports, arts, the types of food, the type of lifestyle you are comfortable with...Know yourself THEN...Go out and do it! Live that life and be happy with yourself. You're going to find women will gravitate to you and you will attract what you put out.

Don't be a pansy man...who can't make decisions. Who gives in and can't say no. KNOW YOUR BOUNDARIES (your likes and dislikes) This is how you weed out what you want and don't want in your life. From behaviors, to friends, to the woman you want in your life. That helps you find your match. And she will test you...to see if your strong and not a pansy...that is why you will hear whining and complaining from her. She needs to test to see if you're a REAL MAN! If you can't stand up to her...how can you stand up to other BIGGER threats that may come your way...how can she be sure you will protect her and possibly children you may have?

AFTER you've found the one...be a man...like an oak. Strong and confident in who you are. Shading your loved one (wife and family). You protect and love them. Remembering that material goods, money, and property are nice for them...but the most important thing is that your family is loved and has peace. (you can't take materials with you when you leave this world)

Be peaceful....

Be strong.....

LAUGH.....

Don't yell...that's just you being a little boy because you can't get your way...a man listens and is peaceful in his love.

Listen to her...

Tell her your feelings and thoughts....

Be trustworthy....DO WHAT YOU SAY YOU'RE GOING TO DO.

NEVER BE A PANSY...make decisions and stick to them after listening to her thoughts and consulting with her...don't say, "oh baby...whatever you want to do..or wherever you want to go..." yech!...women want a leader...they want decisiveness. Find a compromise that will make you BOTH happy.

Be affectionate to her.... Tell her you love her..hold her...look into her eyes...Go on dates...yes even after marriage.

Want more?

See these books and items..GOOGLE these items and get them...they are musts to read or see.

David Deangelo - "On being a Man" DVD SERIES

Elliott Katz - "Being the Strong Man a Woman Wants" Book

David Deida - "The Way of the Superior Man" Book